I don't know what my fault is. I feel that these days I have been keeping my diet pretty tight. But how come this my dear cheek is still stretchy. And a lot of people who take a look at it want to pinch it. It makes me more resentful. It is resentful... resentful... resentful... Veeeery resentful. What is my fault? Weep... Weep... did the fault come from the descendant from my beloved father and mother that makes my cheek really puffed-up. I don't think so. They are not fat either.

Aku nggak tahu apa salahku. Aku ngerasa belakangan ini dietku udah cukup ketat kok. Tapi kenapa sih sang pipi ini tetep juga melar. Mana orang-orang yang ngeliatnya pada pengen nyubitin lagi. Bikin tambah sebel. Pokoknya sebel... sebel... sebel... Sebeel banget. Apa salahku? Hix... hix... Apa jangan-jangan salah dari turunan gen-gen ayahanda dan ibunda tercinta yah yang bikin pipiku tembem begini. Gak juga ah. Mereka gak gendut kok.

Aku nggak tahu apa salahku. Aku ngerasa belakangan ini dietku udah cukup ketat kok. Tapi kenapa sih sang pipi ini tetep juga melar. Mana orang-orang yang ngeliatnya pada pengen nyubitin lagi. Bikin tambah sebel. Pokoknya sebel… sebel… sebel… Sebeel banget. Apa salahku? Hix…hix…Apa jangan-jangan salah dari turunan gen-gen ayahanda dan ibunda tercinta yah yang bikin pipiku tembem begini. Gak juga ah. Mereka gak gendut kok.

I don't know what my fault is. I feel that these days I have been keeping my diet pretty tight. But how come this my dear cheek is still stretchy. And a lot of people who take a look at it want to pinch it. It makes me more resentful. It is resentful... resentful... resentful... Veeeery resentful. What is my fault? Weep... Weep... did the fault come from the descendant from my beloved father and mother that makes my cheek really puffed-up. I don't think so. They are not fat either.

Tapi kalo dipikir-pikir lagi kok malang juga yah nasibku.
Aku ingat betul ketika aku masih kecil. Kira-kira seumuran lima tahun lah; saudara-saudaraku datang ke rumah. Dan mereka semua lantas begitu bahagia melihat wajahku. Bukannya apa-apa dan kenapa-napa. Mereka seperti dapet mainan baru.
Mainan apa? Apalagi kalau bukan pipiku yang menggemaskan ini. Dicubit pipi kiri, dicubit pipi kanan. Mereka sih seneng-seneng aja. Ketawa ketiwi. Nggak tahu apa bahwa yang empunya pipi ini merasakan sebuah derita lahir dan batin. Perih di pipi, perih pula di hati. Sampe akhirnya aku menangis… Huaaaaa. Mereka baru berhenti. Ganti mengelus-elus
"Cup cup anak manis jangan nangis dong."

But if I really think about it again my fate was really unfortunate.
I remembered truely when I was still small. Approximately when I was five years old; my relatives came to my house. And all of them then were so happy to see my face. Not anything and and not anywhy. They seemed like they got a new toy.
What toy? What else if not my cheek that passionated them. They pinched the left cheek, then pinched the right cheek. They were so very happy then. Laugh laugh. They did not know that the owner of this cheek felt a suffering on both the body and heart. Pain on the cheek, pain also in the heart. Until the end I cried… Huaaaaa. Only then they stopped, changed to caressing.
"Choop choop the sweet child should not cry please."

Lebih parah lagi waktu aku SMA, aku inget banget ada temanku bernama Rudi. Anak yang menurut pandanganku termasuk paling badung satu sekolahan. Emang sih secara umum anaknya baik, gak ngerokok, taat aturan sekolah bahkan Pancasila dan UUD’45, gak pernah bolos, lumayan pinter dan berprestasi pula. Lha terus kenapa kok aku anggep badung? Ya itu tuh. Dia paling demen cubitin pipiku. Aku ngelamun dikit dicubit. Aku lengah dikit dicubit. Mana cubitannya konsekutif dan konsekuen lagi. Setiap hari. Sehari tiga kali. Sehabis makan dan sebelum tidur ( kok kaya minum obat aja yah ). Yaah pokoknya pada intinya sering banget deh.

It was more serious when I was in SENIOR HIGH SCHOOL, I remember truely that I had a friend named Rudi. A child that according to my view is one of the naughtiest on the school. It is indeed generally the child was good, not smoking, obeyed the school rule and even the national ideology and national law, never skipped class even once, moderately clever and high-achieving also. Well then why how come I said that he is naughty? Yes, because of that. He liked to pinch my cheek very much. If I daydream a little I was pinched. When I was careless a little I was pinched. His pinches were consecutive and consistent. Every day. Three times a day. After eating and before sleeping (how come it looks like taking medicine?). Yeah no matter what it was really often.

Aku pikir sih ketika masuk kuliah pengalaman-pengalaman memilukan itu akan berakhir. Apalagi kan aku masuk ke univ yang cukup ternama. Ehem… ehem… Aku yakin deh, anaknya pasti pinter-pinter, baik-baik, dan alim-alim. Uuuh tapi kenyataan tak seindah impian. Temen-temen disini masih aja suka ngeledekin aku gendut. Masih juga jahil-jahil. Untungnya sih gak ada lagi yang suka nyubit-nyubit pipi ini. Hahaha.
Maklumlah soalnya kan aku udah beri larangan keras bagi siapapun. Termasuk sahabat-sahabat dekat. Mengagumi boleh tapi tak boleh menyentuh. Apalagi mencubit. Dilarang keras. Verboden. Tiba-tiba….

I thought when I went to university, the sympathetic experiences will end. Moreover I entered to a university that was famous enough.
Ehem… ehem… I was convinced, the students were definitely very clever, well, and very devout. Ugh ugh but the reality was not as beautiful as the dream. Friends here still liked to tease that I was fat. Still were also very rascal. Fortunately there was no one that liked to pinch this cheek. Hahaha. They understand that in this matter I have given them a ban for everyone. Including close friends. They might admire me but it is not allowed to touch me. Not even pinch. Banned hard. Verboden. And suddenly….

Buk!
"Adaw… "
"Pagi Gina," sapa si Yanti dari belakang dengan senyumnya yang cerah. Tanpa rasa bersalah atau berdosa seikitpun.
Duh… duh.. aduuuh…
"Kenapa, aku mukul terlalu keras yah?"
"Masih nanya lagi. Sakit tauk."
"Maap deh maap. Abis kamu juga lagian. Pagi-pagi gini udah ngelamun. Mikirin sapa tuh? Si uhuy yah…"
"Idiiih… thanks yo. Gak ada istilah uhuy-uhuyan dalam kamus gw.. "
"Yah elah pake sok-sokan."

Bam!
"Ouch..."
"Morning, Gina," Yanti greets me with his bright smile. Without any feeling of guilty or sinful.
Ouch.. ouch... a-ouch..
"Why, did I hit you very hard?"
"No question asked. Very painful you know!"
"Sorry, sorry. It is your fault anyway. Even on a morning you were daydreaming. Who were you thinking about? The Uhuy guy?"
"Oh no!!!!, very thanks to you. No meaning of Uhuy in my dictionary.."
"How come you are putting on airs."

Sebenernya si uhuy yang dimaksud tak lain dan tak bukan adalah Gunawan, seorang cowo yang juga sejurusan dengan mereka. Sebenernya sih tuh cowo biasa aja. Bener-bener biasa deh. Semuanya biasa. Rambut biasa, mata biasa, wajah biasa, senyum biasa, pinternya juga biasa. Cuma satu yang luar biasa ..... garingnya luar biasa. Kadang2 sih aku suka sempet sebel dibuatnya. Tapi di satu sisi dia bisa ngertiin aku apa adanya. Jadi hati ini gak jadi sebel lagi deh. Jadi luluh, adem ayem deh dibuatnya.

In fact the Uhuy meant actually is Gunawan, a person that is also in the same course with them. In fact the boy is a normal boy. Very truly normal. All are normal. Normal hair, normal eyes, normal face, normal smile, the cleverness is also normal. Only one is extraordinary.... His lameness is extraordinary. Sometimes I am resentful because of him. But on one hand he can accept me the way I am. So this heart become not resentful again. I am crushed, cool and calm because of him.

Belakangan ini si Gunawan itu emang lagi deket ama aku. Gak tahu juga deh kenapa bisa begitu. Sehingga mulailah beredar kabar-kabar tidak sedap di kalangan mahasiswa. Isu-isu dan gossip yang tak jelas dari mana asal mulanya. Parah deh. Padahal bener deh aku dan si Gunawan itu cuma temen biasa. Ndak ada apa-apa, ataupun gimana-gimana. Sueer….

In recent times the Gunawan guy is actually very close to me. I don't know why could be like that. So not-nice news are beginning to circulate in between students. Rumours and unclear gossips which I don't know where are their origin at first. Seriously. In fact it is true that I and the Gunawan guy are only normal friends. Nothing happened, or whatever it is. I swear...

Masalahnya kekuatan gossip itu uda lebih kuat. Jadilah malah tuh cowo bisa sampe dapet titel uhuy. Sebagai info, sebenarnya kata uhuy itu dianugrahkan sebagai kata ganti orang ketiga tunggal bagi orang yang lagi dalam proses PDKT. Nah, sebutan kata uhuy untuknya menandakan dia lagi PDKT ama aku. Apa bener sih begitu? Mana aku tahu… dan lagian mana aku tempe?

The problem is that gossip power even much stronger. Therefore, that guy even get title: uhuy. For your information, uhuy is stated for a third singular person representative on a guy which is in "approaching" process. So, the uhuy statement show that he is in process of approaching me. Is it true? Who knows?

Kalo emang bener begitu rasanya sih gak sepenuhnya bener deh. Coba aja lihat tingkahnya. Dia toh kayanya emang bergaul dengan cara yang serupa dengan segala macem temen cewenya. Kadang-kadang rada usil pula. Ah, dasar laki-laki. Untung dia gak suka usilin aku dengan pipiku yang menggemaskan ini. Kalo gak bisa sudah hancur berkeping-keping persahabatan yang aku bangun dengannya selama ini.

I think it’s not necessarily true. Look at his behavior. He talk and behave in the same way with all his friends (girl). Sometimes, a bit naughty. Ah, damn guy. Fortunately, he doesn’t like to pinch my cheek, otherwise our good relationship which is maintained so far will be destroyed.

Tapi aku toh cuek-cuek aja ah. Dia toh juga sering cuek ama aku. Emang sih kadang-kadang jadi perhatiaaan buanget, tapi kadang-kadang cuek juga. Aku bingung deh. Kata temen-temen sih sebenernya dia itu suka sama aku. Kalo di sinetron-sinetron remaja masa kini sih disebutnya jatuh cinta githu.

However, I just don't ignore. He also does the same thing to me. Sometimes, reaallyyyy care, sometimes he is ignorant. I’m confused. My friends said that he likes me. In teenagers telenovela, it is said as fall in love.

Yah kalo emang bener githu sih ya ga pa pa. Soalnya, benernya aku juga lumayan simpatik kok sama dia. Ramah, baik, perhatian. Yah meski emang garingnya parah sih. Tapi okelah. Yang paling penting. Ia gak suka ngatain aku gendut. Dan gak suka nyubitin pipi.

If it is true, it’s ok for me. Coz actually I also quite put a symphaty to him. He is cheerful, kind, caring. Even though he is lame. Sooo lame. But it’s ok. The most important thing, he doesn’t say I am fat, and he doesn’t pinch my cheek.

Suatu ketika Gunawan mengajakku makan siang bareng. Yah, aku sih oke oke aja. Kenapa tidak? Sekalian kan aku bisa pinjem catetan lecturenya kemaren. Maklumlah kemaren aku ketiduran. Lagi kebanyakan pikiran. Cieeh kayak orang penting aja. Hohoho….
Kami duduk, diam, dan tenang. Sebelum kami sempet order makanan, Gun mulai membuka pembicaraan lebih awal….

One day, Gunawan ask me to have lunch together. I am ok to his offer. Why not? I can also borrow his lecture note for yesterday lesson. I was sleeping in lecture theatre yesterday. So many think and stuff… Like a businessman you know. Hohohoho...
We sit, be quiet, and calm. Before we order the food, Gun starts to speak:

"Gina, aku tahu pipimu tembem."
"Grrr, apaan sih. Terus kenapa?"
Aku sebel. Aku pikir dia bener-bener ngertiin aku, ternyata dia juga bilang aku gendut. Tidaaak… Kenapa mesti ada satu orang lagi yang mesti mengungkapkan “fakta" itu kepadaku.
"Banyak orang bilang pipi tembem itu gak begitu bagus."
"Iyah, aku emang jelek, " kataku cemberut. Sensi.
"Tapi…. " kata Gun lagi…
"Tapi apa?! seruakku dengan sewot…. Sebel sebel…
"Ups, kamu marah ya?" Tanya Gun dengan muka melas nan memprihatinkan. Ngeliat mukanya aku pun luluh.
"Nda... nda pa pa. Kenapa sih Gun?"jawabku dengan rileks
"Tapi, tapi… aku… aku mau ngomong sesuatu ama kamu Gin. Penting.." kata Gun sambil menundukkan wajahnya. Entah dia malu atau takut... atau sungkan?

"Gin, I know your cheek is stretchy."
"Grrr, so what?"
I am angry. I think he really can understand me. But he also said I am fat. Nooo, why must there be one more person who reveal that “fact" to me?
"Many people said that stretchy cheek is not so good."
"Yeah, I am ugly," I said frownly. Sensitive.
"But…" Gun says again.
"But what?’ I say angrily. Resentful… resentful.
"Ups, are you angry? Gun asked melancholicly. Seeing his face, I melt.
"nooo… no problem? What’s wrong, Gun?" I ask relaxly.
"but… I… I want to say something to you Gin. Important," Gun said bowing down his face. Either he is shy or scary?

Deg! Jantungku berdegup kencang. Dan makin lama makin kencang. Aku ndak tahu perasaan aneh apa yang ada pada diriku sekarang. Aaaargh mana mungkin. Mana mungkin. Darahku berdesir makin kencang. Dag dig dug. Kenapa dengan diriku? Masa Gun bisa membuat aku begini?

Deg! My heart beats very fast. And become faster and faster. Aaargh impossible. Impossible. My blood flows quicker. What’s wrong with me? Why can Gun make me like that?

Ia melanjutkan kata-katanya… masih dengan terbata-bata…
"Aku…. aku…"
"Apa?"
"Boleh gak Gin aku?"

He continues his statement… still with tremble…
"I…. I…"
"What?"
"Gin, could I...?"

Pikiranku makin melayang nda karu2an. Sampai2 aku lupa kalo tujuan awal ke kantin ini adalah untuk makan siang. Hmmm, apa mungkin sih kata teman2nya selama ini benar? Gun selama ini diam2…. aaargh, wajahku memerah, tapi aku nda mau Gun tahu. Kalo sebenernya... Jangan dulu. Aku tundukkan wajahku. Rasanya ia akan mengatakan kata itu. Ya pasti ia akan mengatakan kata itu…
.
.
.

My thought flies away. I almost forget that I go here to have lunch. Is it true that his friends gossip about Gun is true? Gun so far… without any words… Arrgh… my face turn red, but I don’t want Gun knows. That the truth… Don’t
I bow down my face. I feel that he will say that word. Ya confirmed that he will say that word...
.
.
.

"Gin, aku….. boleh pinjem duit dulu nda? Duitku habis. "

"Gin, could I borrow your money? I don’t have anything left."